7 Reasons Not To Mess With A Child

1. A little girl was talking to  her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a  whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its  throat was very small.  The little girl stated that Jonah WAS swallowed by  a whale.Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a  human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to  heaven, I will ask Jonah".  The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"  The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". 

2. A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while  they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's  work.  As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked  what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."The teacher paused  and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."  Without missing a beat  or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a  minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds'.  After explaining the commandment to  "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked , "Is there a commandment that  teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"  Without missing a beat,  one little boy (the oldest of a family); answered, "Thou shall not kill." 

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes  at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of  white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.  She looked at  her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white,  Mom?"  Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do  something wrong and make me cry or unhappy , one of my hairs turns  white."  The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then  said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to  buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look  at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'  A small voice at the back of the room  rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "

6. A teacher was giving  a lesson on the circulation of the blood.  Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know,  would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.. "Yes," the class  said.  "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary  position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"  A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the  cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table  was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the  apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."  Moving further along  the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip  cookies.  A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching  the apples." </blockquote>