Kids & Computers

KIDS & COMPUTERS
    & nbsp;   Several of us were talking computers when the conversation turned to our children and
the impact computers have had on them.
    & nbsp;   One of the Dads in the group said he didn't realize how much his son was into computers
until he asked him to empty the kitchen trash.
    & nbsp;   The son replied, "Sure Dad, I'll be glad to delete it for you."
    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  and...
GROAN!! - The Wives Will Love This Joke
    & nbsp;   Let's just walk up the hill to the terminal, rather than wait for the bus," I suggested to my
two young sons.
    & nbsp;   Much to their displeasure, we began our walk.
    & nbsp;   After a while, my seven-year-old son asked: "Mom, why do you always make the
decisions?"
    & nbsp;   "Because I'm an adult," I said. "When you become an adult, you'll make the decisions."
    & nbsp;   He thought for a few seconds, then said: "No, I won't. Then I'll have a wife."
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KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS
    & nbsp;   JACK (age 3) was watching his mom breast-feed his new baby sister. After a while
he asked, "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

    & nbsp;   MELANIE (age 5) asked her granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old
she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember, you must look in the
back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

    & nbsp;   STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his mom goodnight. "I love you so much that
when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

    & nbsp;   BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take
the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a childproof cap
and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does
it know it's me?

    & nbsp;   SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me
this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough."

    & nbsp;   D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?"

    & nbsp;   MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young man and woman who were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, "Why is he
whispering in her mouth?"

    & nbsp;   CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mom asked what was
troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married.
How will my wife fit in?"

    & nbsp;   TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman
her mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin
fit your face?"
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RULES KIDS WON'T LEARN IN SCHOOL
    & nbsp;   Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair"
8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be
the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they
realized Rule #1.
    & nbsp;   Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does.
It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come
as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair.
(See Rule No. 1)
    & nbsp;   Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't
be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that
doesn't have a Gap label.
    & nbsp;   Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have
tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how
feel about it.
    & nbsp;   Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different
word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making
minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about
Fifty Cent all weekend.
    & nbsp;   Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the
flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations
of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound
like a baby boomer.
    & nbsp;   Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They
got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how
idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking
parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
    & nbsp;   Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even
Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get
a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.
    & nbsp;   Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all
be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to
leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as
Jennifer Aniston.
    & nbsp;   Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
    & nbsp;   Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and
life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you
should start now.